Oops! . . . I did it again (with no apologies to Britney)

Though opinions vary somewhat, most experts say it takes roughly six weeks to form a new habit— like the one I recently set out to form about blogging regularly. Considering I started up again in mid-September, I came darn close before farting out in early November. But like Britney Spears forgetting her undergarments, it’s obvious that—oops—I did it again. Mind you, I'd rather flake on my blog than be photographed with my privates on public display. But I still feel self-conscious about not following through for the umpteenth time on something so simple.

The irony is that since I last blogged, ideas for entries have popped up left and right. They've come so frequently, it's been all I could do just to jot them down. At the moment, I've got something like two dozen waiting to be developed. And yet, when I sit down and try to blog, it's reminiscent of the days when I wrote a newspaper column. It becomes work, and I sit there, uninspired and trying to force it. And the last thing I want to do is write when I'm uninspired. Nor do I want to churn out something for the sake of it.

Perhaps that’s why, despite often dreaming of doing so, I've always shied away from trying to write for a living. There have been brief forays in that direction—company newsletters I've launched and a column I once wrote for a friend's upstart magazine among them. But in all cases, the minute I was expected to produce anything on a consistent basis, my brain, my motivation, and—though I may be going out on a limb here, my creativity—shut down. And nothing, it seemed, would bring back the inspiration—and just as importantly, the joy—that prompted me to write in the first place.

And so it's been for most of the past month as I’ve tried to make myself blog, made worse by the fact that things have been hectic, unpredictable and, with the holidays here, busy beyond belief. And the longer I've waited to sit down and actually do this, despite having a list of ideas longer than all three Z Kids' wish lists for Santa combined, the stronger my avoidance has become. Much like speaking with a friend with whom you've lost touch, the longer I've waited, the more difficult it's felt to actually do it.

Consequently, when the urge to bang something out hit me this morning, I knew I had to act upon it immediately. Otherwise, I’d be headed down the road of déjà vu all over again: months' worth of topics scribbled down but never acted upon, excuses why not to bother, inner struggles to do it anyway, etc. Meh. Far better—and ultimately, easier—just to get it over with.

Granted, it's not like there aren’t a bazillion other things competing for my time right now, with Christmas all of three weeks away (Hang on a second, please. Must remember to breathe!). But the fact is, challenges to do so aside, these are the sort of times I most want to and—as my brother Steve, who’s got the regular blogging thing down to a science, often reminds me—should document. So, I've just got to make myself do it.

I'll be playing catch-up for a bit, as there were some pretty exciting (and hopefully interesting) developments around The Hamilton Zone over the past few weeks. And I'll do my best to make it as transparent as possible. But even if it’s obvious, so be it. As Steve has said repeatedly, I've got to do this for myself. Otherwise, what's the point?

And then, I'll do my best to keep it up. Because trust me, I'd rather not feel compelled to compare myself to Britney again any time soon, even if her career and personal life are on an upswing and it appears she finally understands what underwear are for. Yikes, I think I feel some inspiration coming on right now!